little voices whispering
by thecivilunrest
Summary: I thought love was black and white. /Or Mary and Paula watch their children grow up. For Wally/Artemis Week.


**Fandom: **Young Justice

**Story Title: **"Little Voices Whispering"

**Summary:**I thought love was black and white. /Or Mary and Paula watch their children grow up. For Wally/Artemis Week.

**Character/Relationship(s): **Wally West/Artemis Crock, Paula Crock/Lawrence Crock, Mary West/Randy West

**Rating: **T

**Warnings: **Language, really, but Paula's life isn't exactly kid friendly.

**Story Word Count: **7600+

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

**Notes: **So this EXPLODED. I thought I might get a 2k, or 4k max, fic. Instead I got this monster, but oh God I just couldn't stop. It was so much fun and I love it. I spent all day working on it, which is why I'm not going to edit it. But I think it fits the prompt "tears" perfectly, so yeah. This was inspired in large part by "mother please be proud, father be forgiving" by possibilist, which everyone that watches Glee should go read, but also by my absolutely _massive_ crush on Paula Crock. Anyway, yeah. I'm sorry for this one too.

Oh, and I used some of the dialogue from the comics on Paula's part so if it seems familiar that's why!

**Paula**

.

.

.

Artemis is a beautiful baby. Her skin is smooth and dark and she has a light dusting of colorless hair on her head. You can hardly believe that she's yours, but she is. You carried her inside of you for nine months, felt every flutter kick and you brought her into the world all on your own.

When you bring her home Jade climbs into your bed and you can feel her hot breath on your cheek as she gazes down at her sister. "She's mine," Jade says. "My sister."

"She's all of ours," you correct her. "She will always be all of ours." You hope that will prove to be true.

You glance up and see your husband at the door, his face soft as we watches you all. It's at times like this that you remember why you fell in love with your husband, why you married him and wanted to start a life with him.

He hadn't wanted another child—hadn't even wanted Jade. He'd felt like children were too much trouble, that they got in the way of his plans and his job. And he was right, they do. But you would never trade your children for anything in the whole world. Not even Lawrence.

When he joins you on the bed you give him his daughter. Artemis will look like him, you can already tell. You think this is a good thing. He was, after all, the most beautiful man that you had ever known once.

"My baby girl," he tells her, cupping her small head in his hand. Your heart swells, here in this bed with your whole family. Jade is in your lap and your husband and baby are next to you and this is the happiest that you will ever be, you think.

You're right.

.x.

With two children at home you want to work less.

It was hard enough with just Jade, but now you have Artemis too.

Lawrence had agreed that it would be better for everyone if you stayed home with her until she grew up and could stay alone with the baby. He trusts Jade's maturity more than you do, and you know why.

He wants you to work. You are Huntress and you do a damn good job at killing people, at getting information out of them. You can rip things out of them that your husband can't, can hunt them in ways that were taught to you long ago.

But you are tired. You are _so _tired. Your hands are already stained with blood, a red that will never fade no matter how many times that you scrub. They have faded slightly over the years with the birth of your children but you don't want the red to get any darker.

So you argue with him, and things escalate into screaming matches in the kitchen. He will not back down, not relent, until you do what he wants. You got away with having children, but you do not have that much power in this marriage and you know it.

"You _bitch_," he screams at you, and that's when you hear Artemis crying in your bedroom. She must have heard you both and woken up.

"We will discuss this later," you tell him and rush to your daughter, only to find Jade already there, trying to soothe her.

"I can't make her stop crying," Jade says, tears running down her face and you know that she has heard everything. You've tried to shield her from this, but you are imperfect, a wall that is already crumbling.

"Here, here, no tears." You're not entirely sure which one of your daughters you are talking to as you pick Artemis up and put her head on your shoulder. Her screaming is even louder to you there, but you do not care. You'd do anything to drown out the sound of your life.

.x.

You hate leaving your children. Hate the look in Jade's eye because she _knows_, especially as she gets older.

Lawrence has already been teaching her things, deadly things, and the change in her face frightens you. She's no longer the little girl that you told stories to. Instead she's someone that looks after her sister while her parents are away and that protects Artemis better than you ever could.

You try to work less and less, trying to create a mural of normalcy but it is a lie when your oldest daughter has a sai under her bed and your youngest clutches her teddy bear to her chest at night as though she is afraid someone is going to take it from her.

You don't know how much more you can take. The mortar of life is constantly bombarding you and you don't know how to keep yourself from being torn down.

.x.

The authorities, the _heroes_ are here and there is nothing that you can do. You knew that this day was coming.

"_Go_," you scream at Lawrence, and you see this hesitation in his face. "If you want to do one thing for me, raise our daughters. Keep them safe. _Leave me_."

He does, running all the while, and you just lay back and try not to let the carnage overtake you. The screaming is everywhere and the sky is red and you can't feel your legs. You've finally come down, the moat has fallen and everything is overtaking you.

.x.

Your legs won't ever work again, and after you finish crying you find that you do not really care. That means that you cannot work anymore and while you aren't happy, all you feel is relief. Finally there is a reprieve, even if the cost was your legs. A part of your wall is gone forever but you find that you have less to defend.

What worries you more is your prison sentence. You have done bad things, lots of them, you only have to look at your hands to find proof of that. Your lawyer tells you that as an award for your cooperation you have a possibility of parole and there is a slight chance that if you behave well you can get out early.

That is what you look forward to. You will be a paragon of perfection if that means seeing your daughters again.

.x.

Artemis writes you once a week, and the for the first few weeks the letters make you sob.

The first ever that wrote, in her childish scrawl, said, _Jade left because she couldn't stay here with just dad. Now it's just me and him. When are you coming home?_

You cried for hours after that. You are happy that Lawrence did not leave your daughters, but the fact that Jade left him is terrifying. She is only sixteen and there are only so many places that she can go.

Jade is trained, though, so you know what that will lead to. She will be tired and cold and starving and she will find refuge in the arms of killers, being raised by them. You know, you did the same.

You never wanted this, never wanted for your daughters to make the same mistakes that you did. Yet the cycle never ends, never will end. You wanted so much better for them, but you can't make that happen while you rot in a cell.

.x.

_I'm really good with a bow, Mom. Dad says that we'll start training with it exclusively, that it will be my main weapon even though we'll keep training in other ways too because projectiles are unreliable. _

_When are you coming home?_

.x.

The thought of freedom terrifies you, but seeing your daughter even more so. You haven't seen her since she was eight, and that in and of itself is enough to make the walls that you spent building in prison shake.

At fifteen, Artemis is absolutely beautiful. You think of when she was born, how beautiful you thought she was then, and how she is even more so now.

"Artemis, is that you?"

The only thing that she says to you is, "Hi, Mom." You want to try at seeing your daughter so remote, so distant from you, but you don't.

You can hardly believe that it's her. You reach out to touch her, but you lower your hand. You ask about Lawrence instead, but she tells you that she reminded him that today was the day you came home, but he didn't come.

"I understand." You're glad, though. You don't want to see him, not as badly as you want to see your daughter.

She cooks you dinner, spaghetti and meatballs, and you wonder when she learned to cook. She must have had to. Lawrence never could cook to save his life.

"You have homework?" you ask. It's the most normal thing that you can think of. All children have homework at some point, and you know that your husband never took Artemis out of school. You're thankful for that too, because that means she will have a chance at another life.

"Mom, it's summer," she informs you and you wish you hadn't said anything at all.

The rest of the dinner is silent, but it is a good sort of silence. You'd rather sit with your daughter in the quiet of awkwardness than not at all.

.x.

Lawrence does eventually come home, and the sight of him fills bile in your throat. He has the gall to look surprised to see you, like you weren't even important enough to remember.

"Oh yeah... _Paula. _Forgot you were coming home."

"Overjoyed to see you too, lover." The words fight themselves all the way out of your mouth, but you make yourself say them.

He hasn't changed much over the years, not that you had expected them to. Lines have graced your face but he is still as beautiful as you remember, just like Artemis, and you hate that.

Lawrence slams the door behind him so that Artemis won't come inside, and you're grateful. She doesn't need to hear this.

"I meant to visit," he lies, and if you could get out of your chair you would slap him. As it is you grab the arms and try to remain calm.

"Even a _postcard _would have been nice. Artemis woke once a week."

"She did? You're kiddin'." He looks faintly disgusted, as if that is a crime, loving your mother.

"_Stop_ rolling your eyes. It's all that got me through..." your voice cracks and you hate yourself for showing weakness in front of him. He always takes the cracks and opens them wider and wider until you bare yourself in front of him and you despise that with everything that you have.

"Look, the way the game played out, it could have been _either _of us."

"But it wasn't," you remind him. "I took the fall. _Both _falls. I did the time, but I'm back now. And _Artemis _is my priority." You will do a better job of protecting your daughter. You won't be able to live with yourself if you can't.

"I lost one daughter when I was gone. I won't lose the other... I need to set some ground rules, Lawrence."

"Six years away, and _now _you're takin' over?" He sits down on the bed, as if the weight of this conversation is too much for him.

As if you could have taken over from prison.

"While you were gone I raised her, trained her, toughed her up!"

You grab his hands, trying to comfort him. You loved this man once, after all. Maybe you can do it again. "I'm giving up the life. _You _have to give it up too."

"Or else what?" His gaze is challenging, calculating. He wants to see how far you're willing to go.

You've had six years to think about this. You know how much you're willing to give up for Artemis.

"Or else you're out of here."

He pauses, finally looks at you in the face. He studies your expression but he won't find any cracks here, not this time. You have filled them all up so that there was nothing left for him to exploit.

"Then I guess I'm out. But, baby, you're kiddin' yourself if you think you can save Artemis from the life. She's one of us."

You hear a gasp from outside and you know that Artemis was listening to the whole thing. So you say this, for her benefit. You hope that she's listening.

"Artemis is anything that she wants to be."

.x.

Artemis is not nearly as sneaky as she thinks that she is. You know that she is going out at night, but doing what you don't know. You will not allow her to get in trouble, so you get in touch with Batman and Green Arrow.

They give you a choice. Either Batman will stop her completely or she can join a team with other teen heroes. She will get training and she will work under the thumb, and eyes, of the Justice League.

You've built up your wall but you cannot protect her as well as the Justice League. You know this, only too well. So you choose the second option, and hope that Artemis will do the same.

When your daughter gets back she thinks that _you _have done something to garner the attention of the Justice League, and that wounds you.

Green Arrow and Batman lay out the situation for her, and you give your permission a second time for Artemis to hear that you support her. Because you do. You know Artemis won't stop doing what she wants to do, no matter how many times you try to stop her. And you know you can't.

She glances at you before she answers Batman, and it's the look that Lawrence gave you before he went running from you and left you to face the authorities alone. Your breath catches in your throat as you wait for her verdict.

"One condition: You don't tell the team who I am. Who my family is."

Your walls almost crumble that that. Your daughter is _ashamed_. Ashamed of where she comes from. Ashamed of _you_.

For the first time since you came back to Gotham you want to cry, but you don't. You can't allow yourself to do that, not in front of Batman and Green Arrow, and certainly not in front of your daughter.

Green Arrow glances back at you when he offers Artemis a lie about being his niece, but you just look straight back at him, your throat clogging up. This is what your daughter wants, after all.

.x.

Your daughter gets accepted to Gotham Academy, which is one of the best schools in the nation. You don't want to fight with her, but you do.

She _has _to go. So many doors will open for her if she does, her future will be bright. You wish that you could have gone to school, but you couldn't, so now you guide your daughters through the path of education.

You start to cry when she refuses, you can't help it, until she says, "Okay, Mom. I'll go," and hugs you.

Maybe you made her feel guilty, but it's more than worth it.

.x.

Artemis comes back from training sessions and missions with the team full of chatter and smiles and she is actually _happy_. That terrifies you, but she is just so happy that you can't bare to make this negative for you.

A few times she comes back angry, but when you ask her what happened all she spits out is, "Kid Flash," and slams the door to her room.

Kid Flash was the one that she had saved with her arrow, back before she officially joined the team, and you wonder if that is supposed to mean anything.

.x.

You press the topic of Kid Flash one day during your weekly tea time. You love this time, because it is the one part of her day that Artemis' full attention is on you. It's your only chance to talk, really.

"He's just so. Ugh. He's so bullheaded! And stubborn. He's smart, but sometimes it's like he forgets that and has to prove that he's actually really, _really _stupid. And he's funny, but sometimes he thinks he's funnier than he really is and I just. Sometimes I just punch him because he says the _stupidest _things.

"He has this crush on Miss Martian, but it's _so _obvious that she doesn't even like him. And he can't see it at all! She's not interested at all."

"Are... you interested?" you ask, putting out feelers to see what your daughter's reaction will be. This is the most passionately that she's ever talked about one of teammates.

"What?" Artemis looks horrified and offended at the very suggestion. "Of course not. I couldn't. He's not my type."

"Of course not," you agree, hiding your smile by taking a sip of tea.

.x.

There is one, horrible, awful day where the children have suddenly left the face of the planet and there is nothing you can do.

You sit, shaking in your apartment. You cannot help look for them, you are of use to nobody. Never before have you hated your useless legs. So you watch the news instead, see the headlines about how all over the globe children are missing.

Footage of crying mothers and roaring fathers are on the screen, and they are screaming for their children just like you are doing all alone in your apartment.

But then Artemis comes back. "_Mom_," she breathes as she rushes to you, and you know that she was just as scared as you were. You won't lose another daughter. You'd rather die.

.x.

Artemis comes back from her mission on New Year's Day and you have never seen her look so happy or so dreamy. She doesn't even seem to know what she's doing when she puts her arrows where her bow is usually stored and her bow put in the box with her extra quivers.

You have to say her name twice before she finally looks up. "Huh?" she says, and when she realizes what she's doing she quickly puts things in their proper order.

"Are you feeling okay? No magic was involved or anything, was it?" You have to ask. You know that there is a magician on the team now and you know how badly magic can work on a person's mind. That was why you generally avoided them, back when you were working.

"No, no. I just." She sits down with a sigh, and now you're _really_ concerned. This isn't her usual behavior.

"Kid Flash kissed me. He told me that he should have done it a lot sooner and then he picked me up and _kissed _me." She hugs a throw pillow to her chest at the thought, her face and mind going back to the memory.

You try not to smile. "It sounds like I need to meet this young man if he's going around kissing my daughters."

"_Mom_," Artemis groans, but she laughs too. You're so glad that she's happy.

.x.

Artemis brings Kid Flash—you were instructed to call him Wally to his face but to you he will always be Kid Flash—to the apartment a month later.

"Mom, this is Wally. Wally, Mom," Artemis says, and she's holding Wally's hand the entire time.

"Hey, Mrs. Crock," Wally says, and he waves.

"Hello," you say back, and you study him. He's only about two inches taller than Artemis, thin but toned, and he has freckles across his nervous face. You don't really see much that is extraordinary, but Artemis looks at him like he hung the moon and threw the stars in the sky, so you don't judge.

"This is a great place you have here."

"Thank you."

There are a few more moments of silence before he finally bursts out with, "So I'm actually _pretty _nervous right now, but I think that's perfectly normal. I mean, everyone knows that the Crock women can kick butt ten ways from Sunday, and that definitely happens with me."

"It's true, Mom. During training I beat him _all _the time."

"Not all of the time," he protests, giving you a glance out of the corner of his eye.

Artemis raises her eyebrow. "The one time you beat me is because I _let _you." She crosses her arms over her chest.

"Did _not_."

You can't help but smile then, as they start to bicker. They're funny together, good for each other.

You like Wally, you decide. You especially like him because your daughter does, and that's the most important thing.

.x.

When you get the call from Batman you collapse in your chair. Artemis is _hurt_. Critically injured, so badly that she has to state over at the team's HQ for a few days. You demand to see her right away, and Batman makes no objections.

He transports you to a mountain in New England, and you wheel your way to where your daughter is supposed to be as fast as you can. As you pass by you can see your daughter's friends, the ones that she has talked about for years now, subdued and quiet. Things must be very bad, then.

Wally is sitting on a chair next to her bed, and he looks up when you come in. "I'm sorry, I'll just leave then," he says, standing up. He obviously hasn't changed out of his dirty, torn and rank costume. His hair is a mess and there are circles underneath his eyes.

"No it's fine, you can stay," you tell him. Artemis is not even awake, but her heartbeat is steady and her IV slowly drips into her veins. There are bruises on her face and a bandage around her upper arm.

Wally doesn't sit down again. He just looks at Artemis, a look of loathing on his face before he says. "It's my fault. I, she, we," he sighs. "She was trying to save me, and this was what happened to her because of that. I wish it would have happened to me instead," he says quietly, almost so that you can't hear.

You feel a flare of irritation, why _couldn't _he have just taken the blow, why couldn't he have not made your daughter fall in love with him, why couldn't he have just left Artemis alone so that it was him laying there and not her. You're being irrational, and you know that, so you just take a deep breath and place a hand on his arm.

"It's not your fault. It's no one's fault, except the person who did this to her. She will get better. She will." You're not quite sure who you're saying that to anymore, but it doesn't matter.

Eventually he leaves to give you and Artemis some alone time, which you're grateful for when she wakes up.

Artemis blinks, and then she notices that you're there and she smiles. "Hey, Mom," she chokes out. "Today's not really my day."

"How could you let yourself get this way?" you find yourself asking her, because you're angry and frightened and scared all at once and you don't know how to let these things out otherwise.

"I had to save him." She coughs, and instantly your anger deflates and the rawness on her face. Artemis almost _died_. "But I want to tell you something."

You lean in closer, so that she doesn't have to strain to hear her and because you need to know what she is going to say. "I'm really happy that you're back. I was so scared when you left, because Jade left too and then I was all alone. But I'm really happy that you're back. I always have been, even when I don't act like it."

"I won't leave you again," you promise, but you wonder when she's finally going to leave you.

.x.

Gotham Academy really does pay off, because Artemis gets accepted into Stanford. "I got in, I got in, I got in," she says, almost singing the words, and she falls on the floor. "And I got a full scholarship too, thanks to my academics."

"I'm assuming Kid Flash got in too," you say, and she smiles when you say that.

"Of course."

You shake your head, and let your daughter's happiness fix any cracks that might have popped up on your wall because she is, literally, going off to the other side of the country. She's finally leaving you behind.

.x.

You are just so, _so _proud of her as you watch Artemis walk across the field in her cap and gown. And she looks so happy as she excepts her diploma and her achievements are announced across the entire field.

Wally sits with you throughout her entire graduation. He whoops and cheers when her name is called, and you know that Artemis hears him because she puts her face in her hands when he does.

He rushes to get her, you waiting on the sidelines, and Artemis pulls him down for a long kiss. You'll chastise them later, but when Wally fist pumps the air like in those movies they watched with you, you can't help but laugh.

They're so young, but so happy and sure of themselves, that you're glad they have each other.

It looks like Artemis will have the happily ever after that you always wanted her to have.

**Mary**

**.**

**.**

**.**

When Mary sees the pink plus sign on the pregnancy test, she squeals. "Rudy," she calls, and when he doesn't come fast enough she says again, "Ruuuuuudy!"

"What, what?" he asks, slightly out of breathe from running from wherever he was.

"I'm pregnant!" She shoves the test under his nose to show him, and when his eyes finally focus he smiles.

"I'm going to be a father!" Rudy counters and wraps her up in his arms.

They'd been trying for so long, at least a year, now here was the outcome that she had always wanted.

.x.

The baby is born on a Tuesday, and they name him Wallace Rudolph West. That's a big name for a baby, too big, so Mary shortens to calling him Wally and hopes that he will grow into every name that they have given him.

.x.

Wally loves school, loves _people_. He didn't even cry when Mary dropped him off for his first day of kindergarten like the other kids.

_She _had been crying, but he had just hugged her arms and just acted like nothing had been a big deal.

With him in school Mary gets a job again, and asks her sister Iris to pick Wally up to take care of him, which she does.

Her husband Barry is a good man, and he's actually the one that spends most of his time with Wally.

The only thing that Wally talks about when he gets home are his school friends Joe and Christian, his teacher Ms. Carol and Uncle Barry.

Once when she comes to pick him up she finds Barry on all fours and Wally on his back, and they're both laughing hysterically. Barry stops short when he realizes that Mary is there, but the smile on her son's face is worth the ridiculousness.

Mary is glad that her son has someone to look up to. Randy is a good father, but his job takes him away for long stretches of time. Wally is always ecstatic when his father gets back home to call him "bub" and "squirt" and every time Randy leaves Wally asks when he's coming back.

So it's nice to have Barry around for the every day things.

.x.

When Barry becomes the Flash Mary hires a babysitter.

Wally is disappointed for a long time, and as such he acts out and won't talk to the babysitter for _weeks_, but it's for the best. Mary doesn't know what she'd do if Wally found out that his uncle was the Flash, who he might end up telling.

It's better this way, keeping Wally in the dark.

.x.

He finds out anyway. Wally is a snoop, always looking through drawers and in closets and once the attic in search of his Christmas presents, so Mary isn't sure why she is so surprised.

"Uncle Barry is the _Flash_," he says in awe, stars in his eyes in a way that makes Mary want to wrap him in her arms and never let him go.

Iris, Barry, Randy and Mary have a very serious talk with him, and he won't talk because of that. "Cross my heart and hope to die, no crosses count," Wally tells them all, and she hopes that he's right.

.x.

This is her worst nightmare come to life, something she had hoped to God that she would never have to see. Wally is in a hospital bed, gauze on his head and arms, because he tried to recreate the experiment that had made Barry become the Flash.

Mary would blame him, but Barry is far too busy blaming himself so she says nothing at all.

"I'm _sorry_. I didn't think that he'd, didn't know that he'd figure out what chemicals I was talking about."

"Wally always was a smart boy," Rudy says, his voice hollow and the past tense makes a sob come out of Mary's throat. The doctor had said that there was a good chance that he won't make it and if he does she starts thinking about the absolute worst things that could happen to him, just keep herself sane.

That way, if the worst really does come to pass, she will be prepared for it.

.x.

Wally does live, and that and in itself is a miracle.

It's only once she realizes that he has started moving faster than usual, that he can leave a room quicker than he used to be able to that Mary think that something might be up.

"Barry, I think something is going on. Remember that experiment that Wally tried to replicate? Well, _something _is happening."

"I'll have a talk with him," Barry says, and that is when her son officially becomes Kid Flash.

.x.

"Are you _sure_, _sure_ that you want to do this?" Mary can't help but ask as she snaps a picture of her son all decked out in his costume. She's a mom. She can't help these things.

"Mooooooom," Wally groans. "I am beyond sure. I am _totally_ sure. I can do this!" Wally looks so proud, so serious in his (totally obnoxious, in Mary's opinion) yellow Kid Flash uniform. His freckles are covered completely but his grin is there for everyone to see.

"Just because you can doesn't mean that you have to."

"Yes it does. I have a _responsibility _to help them. And I'm going to do everything that Uncle Barry tells me to, promise."

"Okay." She finally has to relent. She knows her son, and how stubborn he is thanks to her, so there will be no talking him out of it.

When Barry comes and picks him up a piece of Mary's heart goes with him, and so does every prayer that she has memorized.

She and Rudy watch Wally on the news, and she was wincing the entire time. When Wally got hit with a piece of flying debris Mary has to cover her face, but eventually Randy coaxes her out again. Wally is fine. Absolutely fine. More than fine, really.

He comes home with a bandage on his cheek, but that grin still on his face, and Mary hopes her nerves can take this for all of the years to come.

.x.

Mary tries to keep her nose out of her son's business, most of the time. He's in junior high now, and on his way to becoming a teenager and everyone knows that those years are hard.

She reads plenty of child rearing books, trying to get a grip on what she's supposed to do when he won't listen to her and look to her for permission for everything, but they don't prepare her, not really.

"Wally," she asks once. "Where are Joe and Christian? I haven't seen them around for a while."

He shrugs in response. "We don't really hang out anymore. I'm in _junior high _now. It's not elementary anymore."

"You can still talk to your friends from elementary, though. It's not an exclusive thing."

"You can't if they won't talk to you," he mumbles, almost low enough where Mary can't hear him, but she can.

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing. Really. I'll introduce you to some of my new friends soon, okay?"

"Okay."

She waits, and she waits, and she waits but Wally never does bring anyone new home. A few times he goes to friend's houses, Mary never once seeing these kids herself, but he always comes home frustrated or angry and she doesn't know why.

He was always such a happy baby and kid, but now half the time he's frustrated with life in general. She wants to chalk it up to just being a teenager and having his own life now, but she can't.

The time that Wally is happiest is when he's in his Kid Flash uniform. Then it's all smiles for the reporters, for his mother, for the people in Central.

.x.

When Wally starts coming home with bruises, from weeks when he isn't working or training with the Flash, Mary knows something is wrong. For a while she keeps silent, accepting his lies of, "Oh I fell," or "I guess this one hasn't faded yet," when he wants to, but when his eye is black on the last day of freshman year is when she puts her foot down.

"I'm calling the school," she says when she sees him when he comes out of his room for dinner.

"_Don't_," he tells her, eyes wide, before folding the emotions on his face into smaller pieces. "Really, don't sweat it, Mom. I ran into a door. Case _closed_."

"You ran into a door. On the last day of school. On your _eye_?"

"That is highly irregular, son," Rudy, who has been silent in this conversation, points out.

Wally sighs and looks down at his peas. "I can't do anything about it, okay? I'm not Mr. Popular." He smashes the peas with the tines of his fork, one by one, as he tells them this. "No one really likes me except the science geeks. And I'm okay with that, really. It's cool. Just a few guys like to treat us like we're garbage and I can't _do _anything about it, and that's the hardest part."

"Sure you can," Rudy counters.

"Well I can, but that wouldn't really be _fair _and what if I accidentally gave away that I was Kid Flash? I can't do that, because what if they find out about Uncle Barry. What then? And then supervillains find out and then Aunt Iris will have to leave and I just _can't_."

"Have you ever thought about joining the track team? That might help you get some friends. Wally, you're a great kid. People _will_ wantto be friends with you."

"I've already talked to Barry about that, and he says no. That it'd be too risky. That it'd be _unfair_."

And it would be, Mary has to agree. There's a part of her, a bigger part than she'd like to admit, that wishes that Wally hadn't been so smart and hadn't figured out how to recreate his uncle's experiment. That he'd never become a hero.

Wally loves heroing, Mary knows that. She knows that the way that she knows that he can eat two bags of Doritos and drink a whole liter of coke by himself, the way that she knows that he hates the smell of gasoline and that his favorite color is green. It's a part of him now, just like those things.

But his life would be so much _easier _if he didn't love it.

"I'm sorry," she tells him, and she means it.

He just shrugs. "It's okay. I have Robin anyway."

.x.

After the Fourth of July Barry comes to Rudy and Mary and outlines what Wally's new training schedule as Kid Flash is going to look like. He is getting older now, and needs more responsibility. He will be on a team with the other sidekicks, people who he has already worked with, and a new Superboy.

Wally brings Superboy to the house, and while he seems a bit strange and least Wally has broadened his number of friends. Besides, the kid is supposedly a clone and that gives _anyone _an excuse to be weird.

.x.

School is still miserable for Wally, even though none of his grades have slipped and he's doing well in all of his classes. On the days that he doesn't have training or missions for the team he is far more subdued, but when he comes back from the mountain he is the boy that Mary remembers from all of those years ago.

It's not happy all the time. Sometimes missions go wrong or he's tired and cranky or he comes home and cleans out their whole fridge without even meaning too. But it is so, _so _much better than the time without it.

Wally doesn't come home with bruises anymore, and that's what makes her happiest of all.

.x.

The first time that Mary hears the name Artemis is on a Sunday after he comes home from a mission. He doesn't look very happy when he spits out her name after she asks him what happened.

"Who's Artemis?" she asks.

"She took Red Arrow's place on the team. I don't even know who she _is_, only she thinks that she's so much better than everyone. I mean, she didn't even catch Cheshire or anything! But she's going to be there now, every time, and she's just... She's annoying, Mom. Okay?"

"Okay." Mary places a hand on her son's shoulder and tries to smother her grin. He had a girlfriend for a while last year, she knows, but he's never been like this about a girl. "Whatever you say."

.x.

For one day after a training exercise Wally doesn't speak.

Mary is used to her son talking. He can talk for ages on whatever he wants to, _especially _when he is trying to cover something up. She's concerned, and she talks to Randy who says to just let it go.

But she can't. She's his mother and maybe that makes her think differently, but she hates seeing her son all long faced and quiet, hardly eating.

She goes for a glass of water that night, only to find Wally sitting at the table, a frozen dinner in front of him, untouched. He doesn't even notice that she enters the room until she wraps her arms around him and squeezes.

Mary doesn't get to do that often anymore. He's just so often in his other world, passing her by and leaving her behind. He goes to places that she can't reach anymore, and that's hard. But she's still there for him, and she still loves him, more than he could ever imagine.

"What's wrong?" she asks him, and he sighs and puts his face in his hands.

"I don't know."

"Tell me about it then."

And he does. He tells her about a training exercise that had started in Miss Martian's mind. It was supposed to show how well they would all react to failure, since they had done well on all of the missions before that.

So they go into her mind and fight aliens that "kill" the Justice League, and at first they know that this is just an exercise. That it's not real. But then Artemis—his voice breaks on her name—dies and Miss Martian's subconscious takes over like it's real and everything goes downhill from there.

"And Mom, I thought I could save her. I thought I could save Artemis from the 'aliens.' I had so much hope that she was alive. I had to, because otherwise..." he looks away from her. "I couldn't imagine an otherwise. There wasn't any other option for me. I pinned all my hope on the fact that she was somewhere in the mothership. Miss Martian and Robin and I, we were going to _save _her. But in the end, I couldn't even save myself."

Sometimes, words aren't needed. A mother knows that better than anyone. So she hugs her son again, good and tight, to show him that he really is alive and that this isn't an illusion caused by a strong Martian.

At first Wally is passive, nonreactive. But then he grips her back tightly and she thinks that she can feel something wet and warm on her shoulder, but she doesn't comment on it. She knows what it's like to think that you're going to use something, so she just rubs his back and doesn't let him go until morning.

.x.

Wally comes back home from the mission on New Year's Day with a goofy grin on his face. He won't tell Mary what happened, but she's pretty sure that it's something to do with Artemis.

She's glad. From what Wally has told her, she likes Artemis. She sounds like a good girl, even with all of Wally's efforts to claim otherwise.

Her son is eating a chocolate bar when she comes in and asks him, "So when am I going to meet her, hmmm?"

He chokes.

.x.

When Mary gets home from work Wally is sitting at the kitchen table doing homework with a blonde girl who she doesn't recognize. She's about to say something when the girl calls out, "Hey Mrs. West," and nudges Wally with her elbow.

"Mom, this is Artemis. Artemis, this is my mom."

"It's so nice to finally meet you," Mary tells her, and hugs the girl. She stiffens for a minute before relaxing and when Mary lets go she's smiling. "Wally talks about you _all_ the time. I was wondering when he was going to bring you home."

"He _does, _huh?" She slips Wally a sly look. "Only good things I hope."

"Of _course_ only good things," Wally insists, giving Mary a _why _sort of look. "What else is there to tell?"

Mary laughs, because they're adorable. "I'm just going to go to my room and call Iris. Call if you need anything, and don't do anything that I wouldn't do."

"_Mom_," Wally hisses, but then Artemis is laughing too.

She's glad that he found someone. Artemis seems nice and polite and she likes her already.

.x.

"Mom," Wally announces one day. "I forgot about Valentine's Day again and Artemis did too and now I feel absolutely _stupid._ What am I supposed to do this year?"

"I have no idea how you two manage to miss Valentine's Day. Wally, I decorate the house for Valentine's day, your father and I have always given each other cards. _How?_" Really, it's one of the great mysteries of the universe that her son has managed to forget Valentine's Day twice in a row.

"I guess you're just going to have to buy the on sale candy. Again."

"You have the best ideas, you know that don't you?" he tells her, kissing her on the cheek as he passes to his room, already on his phone.

"I do?" she asks but he's gone.

.x.

Artemis sits with her during Wally's graduation, and she doesn't look bored, not once.

Mary is just so insanely proud, really. Her son is going to Stanford and he's salutatorian and this is more than a mother can hope for. At work she talks about him all the time, about how he got lots of scholarships and just how proud she is that he's made it this far. Her co-workers just shake their head roll their eyes, but she knows that they care too.

"My graduation is next week," Artemis tells her as they walk down to congratulate Wally. It's all that Mary can do not to run all the way there, really.

"And then you're both off to Stanford." It's a scary thought, really, but he's so excited at the prospect that she can't find herself to get too down about it.

"Yep."

Wally hugs her first. "I made it, Mom," he tells her. "I made it through all the stupid high school crap that gone thrown my way." She hugs him back, never wanting to let him go, but she does.

He picks Artemis up and spins her around next, making her squeal with laughter and it's the happiest the two of them have ever looked, so she snaps a picture.

She hopes this lasts forever.


End file.
